Who Or What Am I

Archive Sept 2018

Sometime last year, I was out in Nusa Lembongan, a beautiful island thirty minutes off the coast of Bali by boat. I had gone to be a part of a week-long self-discovery retreat a friend of mine put on. Many wonderful things occurred during that week, yet there was one that stuck out to me that I will remember as long as I live. It was a story, which my friend Rick had told me, which may have been told to him somewhere along the line.

Among many things that Nusa Lembongan is known for, the epic surf is probably right there near the top, and over the course of the week, we had gone out for many, almost daily surf adventures.

One day, after a surf session, my friend Rick and I were sitting atop a cliff overlooking the break. We had been silent for a few moments, and then he says, "Anderson, you know one day I was sitting out there, looking out to the endless ocean. I had just got back to the lineup, and I began to reflect on how much fun I just had surfing the last wave, on how much I really love surfing. A deep sense of gratitude washed over me and I simply felt like the luckiest guy in the world. That I get to be here, doing this, right now. Then, something very special happened. I began to ask myself some interesting questions.

Did I create that wave I just surfed?

Answer: No.

Did I create the ocean that gave birth to that wave?

Answer: No.

Did I create the winds or the deep sea storms that came together for this wave to occur? Answer: No.

Did I even create this surfboard that allows me to surf the wave?

Answer: No.

Did I create my own body that allows me to move so freely atop this surfboard?

Answer: No

After answering such introspective questions I came to a powerful realization. "So somehow, 'I', just get to be here, experiencing all of this?

Answer: Yes.

So who, or what is the 'I'.